1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,239 gorgeous Georgians 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:04,399 3 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:05,599 4 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:06,959 5 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,439 6 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:09,759 7 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,159 8 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:12,519 9 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:13,999 10 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,399 fierce and toothless 11 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:16,839 12 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,159 13 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:20,679 14 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,399 15 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,079 16 00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:27,439 17 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,639 18 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,880 Horrible Histories presents... 19 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:43,119 Ahoy there! Tis I, Captain Ratbeard, aboard my vessel, 20 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,999 the Ratty McRatface. 21 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,679 Aha! 22 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:51,159 A scurvy ratscle like me can travel around the whole world by boat 23 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:52,519 if he knows what he's doing. 24 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,679 Sadly, I haven't got a clue. 25 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,679 I'm lost already. 26 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,159 Help! 27 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,399 Has anyone got a rat nav or a Viking?! 28 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:05,559 They had loads of ingenious ways of navigating the oceans - 29 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,240 long before people started using technology to do the job. 30 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,039 How are you enjoying your first ocean voyage, Tristan? 31 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:18,119 Huva! Huva! Ha-ha. 32 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,519 Yeah, better out than in. 33 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,199 Especially if you've been eating fermented shark. 34 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,679 Huva! 35 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,119 Are we nearly there yet? 36 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,159 Oh, yeah, almost there. How do you know? 37 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:29,959 Look up... What is it? 38 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,159 Ugh! Huva! 39 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,279 My bad, should have said look up, 40 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,239 but keep your mouth closed in case a bird does a poop in it. 41 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,719 Anyway, these birds, 42 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,359 they never stray far from land, 43 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,559 so when we see them, 44 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,719 we know we're close. 45 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,759 Look, there's a lot of them. 46 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,159 Excellent! 47 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,919 That tells us that we're very close to land now. 48 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,479 But how do you know which direction to go? 49 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,479 There are certain clouds that only appear above land, 50 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,599 so we just simply head for them. 51 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,359 Oh! Like that one up there? 52 00:01:58,360 --> 00:01:59,519 HE GROANS 53 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,919 No, that's not a cloud. 54 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,959 That's the same group of birds from before, 55 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,479 but all bunched together in a big poopy bunch. 56 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,200 Huva! 57 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,439 You don't say. 58 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:11,839 Yeah, you don't often see that. 59 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,559 So I see how the clouds and the birds work, but... 60 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:15,799 HE SPITS 61 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,959 ..we've sailed all the way from Iceland. 62 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,719 How do you know which direction to sail 63 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,319 when you're a long way from land on the open sea? 64 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,599 It's all up here. 65 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:27,239 You see, I know that if we travel from Snaefellsnes in Iceland 66 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,079 to Hvarf in Greenland, 67 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,759 the North Star will always be the same height 68 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,799 above the horizon in both places. 69 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,759 So, we sail for four days, 70 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,399 keep the North Star in the same place, 71 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,959 and, well, you should arrive in about... 72 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,480 Hey, we're there! 73 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,719 Where did you learn all this? 74 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,479 Most Vikings learn it from their families. 75 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,039 Oh, wait, 76 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,119 I didn't want to go to Hvarf in Greenland. 77 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,639 I wanted to go to Starr in Norway. 78 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,479 What? But you kept saying, "Hvarf, Hvarf." 79 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,799 Huva! Huva! 80 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:00,999 Oh. 81 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,039 Huva! 82 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,719 I think I know what's happened here. 83 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,159 It's funny. I'm completely clean, 84 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,479 and yet you are covered in poo. 85 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,760 BIRD SQUAWKS 86 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,399 Check it out. 87 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,759 It crosses oceans, 88 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,279 it sails up rivers, 89 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,759 it's a brand-new Viking longship. 90 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:20,919 At top speed, 91 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:23,519 it can go over 35km per hour! 92 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,519 That's really fast! Really fast! 93 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,159 It can even sail through terrible storms. 94 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,599 This beast is such a beast, 95 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,480 it even has a beast head on the front! 96 00:03:32,481 --> 00:03:34,959 Beast heads can be anything - 97 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,079 a snake, a bull, 98 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,159 a dragon, 99 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:38,479 a hamster! 100 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,039 Not a hamster. 101 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,399 That's not beasty enough for this beast. 102 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,079 The longship is the same shape 103 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,799 at the front and the back 104 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,639 so it can go in both directions, 105 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,199 all you have to do is turn around 106 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,279 and row the other way. 107 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,719 In fact, I think the only problem 108 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,039 with the longship is poo - 109 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,159 it absolutely stinks when it's new. 110 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,639 Stinky ship alert! Ha-ha. Ha-ha! 111 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,039 It's covered in fat and sticky tar 112 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,719 to make it waterproof. 113 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,159 Ahh! 114 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,479 I think I'm stuck to the tar! 115 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,080 Ah, bums. Oy! 116 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:18,159 It's nearly bedtime here at YeBeebies, 117 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:22,639 so for all you little mariners sailing off to Sleep Island, 118 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:26,199 we've got a special guest today to tell us a bedtime story 119 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,599 about their real-life adventures. 120 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,039 Hello, boys and girls. 121 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,119 I am Christopher Columbus 122 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,319 and in 1492, 123 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,039 I sailed the ocean blue, 124 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,799 searching for a new trade route 125 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:42,199 between Europe and China. 126 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,999 But what I actually discovered was 127 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,039 an entire new continent - 128 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,719 the Americas. 129 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,359 What an adventure! 130 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,519 It was full of exciting, vibrant people 131 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,839 that I could kidnap and force to work for me. 132 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,039 Sorry, what? 133 00:04:58,040 --> 00:04:59,399 And there was nothing they could do 134 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,279 because we were so heavily armed. 135 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:04,759 OK, how about we just stick to the adventure bits. 136 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,159 OK. 137 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:10,039 There were lots of swashbuckling battles as we fought for our lives. 138 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,599 There we go! 139 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,479 Exciting! Charge! 140 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,079 The battles ended when I cut the heads off 141 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,399 three local people. 142 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,319 Here, let me show you how I did it. 143 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,719 OK, seriously, 144 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,519 I think we should stop talking about the nasty stuff that you did 145 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,039 to those poor people who were already living there 146 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,159 and focus on the exploring. 147 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,399 That's fine. 148 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,399 After we finished, there weren't many of them left anyway. 149 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,999 Now, did you know 150 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,279 the Americas are filled with gold? 151 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:40,599 Oh, treasure! That's more like it. 152 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,119 Did you have a treasure map? 153 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,439 I didn't need one. 154 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,879 I just said I'd kill any local person over the age of 14 155 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,519 who didn't bring me gold - 156 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:49,679 much easier. 157 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,359 OK. I think we've had enough of 158 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,119 your adventures for one day. 159 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,959 Possibly forever. 160 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:57,679 You know, I think the message of my story 161 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,599 is when you are faced with an impossible task, 162 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:04,239 what you really need to do is believe in yourself. 163 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:07,119 Wow. That is a great message for our children. 164 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,879 For example, I believed it was right 165 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,479 to have members of my own crew 166 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,999 whipped for buying food without my permission. 167 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,280 OK. OK, get out! Get out. 168 00:06:16,281 --> 00:06:19,639 SOFTLY: We're going to get complaints about this. 169 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,239 Oh, I had someone complain about what I did once - 170 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,239 I just cut out their tongue. 171 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:25,759 What are you doing here? 172 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,679 Goodnight, boys and girls! 173 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,399 Goodnight, children! 174 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,519 Is he still here? 175 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,439 Is he... Which way is the canteen? 176 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,959 Oh, hello there, are you looking to set sail soon? 177 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,999 Well, then, you've come to the right place. 178 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,599 I'm Bessie Miller, 19th century sea-based sales woman. 179 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,839 I, and many people like me, used to sell something vital to sailors, 180 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,519 but can you tell me what it was? 181 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,880 Was it... 182 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,919 The answer is C - wind. 183 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,879 We would sell wind to sailors 184 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,759 and they thought if they didn't buy the wind, 185 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,359 their sailboats wouldn't be able to sail! Ha! 186 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:09,279 That's right, we claimed to have complete control of the wind. 187 00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:10,639 SHE TOOTS Oop! 188 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,439 Sorry. Not that kind of wind. 189 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,519 SHE TOOTS Oop! 190 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,839 Boats haven't just been used to explore the oceans, 191 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,080 they've also been used to fight wars on them. 192 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:26,599 In 1588, King Philip II of Spain unleashed the Spanish Armada, 193 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,719 when he sent hundreds of his ships to war 194 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,359 with England and Queen Elizabeth I. 195 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,439 His fleet was defeated, 196 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,119 but more armadas were soon to come - 197 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,039 and they weren't all Spanish. 198 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,280 Ahh! 199 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:46,039 That huge amount of ships that we sent against the English? 200 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,720 I think we made them mad. 201 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,359 Try and invade us, will you, Spain? 202 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,600 Well, now, it's payment time! 203 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,519 Sir Francis Drake. 204 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:02,759 Your Maj. 205 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:06,240 Unleash the English Armada. 206 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:10,160 You had me at "Unleash the Eng..." 207 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,159 Led by Francis Drake, 208 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,359 aboard his ship Revenge. 209 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:22,639 180 ships, tens of thousands of soldiers. 210 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,439 We shall destroy the Spanish fleet! 211 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,000 Attack! 212 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,799 Wait! 213 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,919 Instead of their fleet of ships, 214 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:35,800 let's attack the Spanish city of Coruna. 215 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,719 I wonder if they've conquered Spain yet. 216 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,039 Hmm. 217 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:47,639 OK, it might take a bit longer than I thought. 218 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,079 Longer? 219 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,239 The winds are blowing in the wrong direction! 220 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,399 The men are dying of starvation and sickness! 221 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,599 What are you complaining about? 222 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,199 We've still got 5,000 men. 223 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,799 Yes, but we started out with tens of thousands of men! 224 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,720 That's not ideal. 225 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,079 You know the English Armada 226 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,719 we sent against the Spanish 227 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,239 because of the Spanish Armada they sent against us? 228 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,759 Well, I think they may be planning revenge. 229 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,159 No! 230 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,640 Yes, another Spanish Armada! 231 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,519 I'm beginning to think armadas might be overrated. 232 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:28,680 Yeah. 233 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:31,959 Aha! 234 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,679 We pirates are the terror of the high seas, 235 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:39,799 everyone be afraid of us! 236 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,079 Mostly because we can't steer the boats 237 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,279 and we're always bumping into them. 238 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,759 But, you know, ships don't just go travelling on the water, 239 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:52,119 they can also go under it - in submarines! 240 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:55,519 But what's it like to actually go in a submarine? 241 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:59,120 And when I say go, I'm not talking about how you travel in one. 242 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:01,999 243 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,559 244 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:04,919 245 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,519 246 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,679 247 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,679 with a cape to hide your face 248 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:15,359 And then you're done 249 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,399 if you did a two or one 250 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,360 251 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:23,799 STOMACH GURGLING 252 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,319 Oh! Nein, nein, nein! Urgh! 253 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,399 Oh! 254 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,639 Greetings, friend. 255 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,439 Who are you and what are you doing on my U-boat? 256 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,039 I am Loo Man, the living lavatory. STOMACH GURGLES 257 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:37,519 And you look like a man who needs a little U-boat kept in his room. 258 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:38,719 Yeah, I...I do. 259 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:42,679 Well, then, I would like to apply for the jobbies. 260 00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:43,999 We have a toilet. 261 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,559 I'm meeting the engineers there now. 262 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:48,919 Engineer? Yeah, flushing the boat's toilet is very complex 263 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,559 and only a specially trained person can do it. 264 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,599 I'm intrigued. 265 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,199 It is ready for you, Captain. 266 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,519 Oh, thank goodness! STOMACH GURGLES 267 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,599 Oh, torpedoes away! FARTING, SPLASHING 268 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,679 Oh, there we go. Oh! FARTING 269 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,119 Tell me, mein freund, 270 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,039 do you call them the captain's logs? 271 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,759 Oh, this is the best! 272 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,039 Sorry, Loo Man. Oh! 273 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,999 A pleasure to meet a fellow poo-fessional. Oh! 274 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,279 Feel better? 275 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,679 Oh, yes. Thank you. 276 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:20,159 I'd give it funf if I were you. Yes, Captain. 277 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,679 Er, you may flush when ready, engineer. 278 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,039 Aye, aye, Captain. 279 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,399 Ergh. 280 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,439 Right. Right. 281 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,199 Hello. Goodness, yeah, my setup's a lot simpler than yours, 282 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,599 if you want me to take you through it. 283 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:32,959 Er, nein. Danke. 284 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,519 Please do not disturb me, I must turn these levers and valves 285 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,959 in exactly the right order, 286 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,679 otherwise the sea water 287 00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,719 will flood into the vessel. 288 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:43,880 OK, yeah, of course. 289 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,279 Erm, out of interest, 290 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,639 how many buckets worth of bum bratwurst does this baby store? 291 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,439 Well, actually, the sub does not store its poop. 292 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,959 Instead, we fire turd-pedos into the ocean 293 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,519 with compressed air. 294 00:11:58,520 --> 00:11:59,919 Love it! 295 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,319 ALARM BLARES Hello! 296 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,370 What's happened? Has it done a floater? 297 00:12:03,751 --> 00:12:05,839 Oh, no. 298 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,319 I think I did the wrong sequence. 299 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,919 The toilet is filling up with sea water and the captain's logs... 300 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,959 Oh, you do call them the captain's logs, then! 301 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,639 Captain, the toilet sewage has leaked into the ship's batteries 302 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,879 and the sub is filling with poisonous gas! 303 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,119 We must surface and abandon ship! 304 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,679 Oh, dear. Abandon ship! Code brown! 305 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,799 Abandon ship, abandon ship! 306 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,440 EXPLOSION 307 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:27,920 Could've used the bucket. 308 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,239 Am I in? Get back a bit, a bit. 309 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,239 If this doesn't go viral, it's on you, all right? 310 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:36,799 OK, I'm going. 311 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,719 What's up, boat fans? 312 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,559 Want to make a top of the line Assyrian riverboat? 313 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,280 You need three things. 314 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,839 And there's a secret 315 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:51,999 third ingredient. 316 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,119 DONKEY BRAYS Whoa! That's right, a donkey. 317 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,959 This boat puts the ass 318 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,120 in Assyrian. 319 00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:01,559 What you need to do is first make a wooden frame, 320 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:05,039 you line it with inflated animal bladders... 321 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,479 ..then this boat is going to float you 322 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:11,320 all the way downstream to Babylon, baby. 323 00:13:11,681 --> 00:13:14,719 But it's a bit harder getting back 324 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,239 cos the water's going the wrong way. 325 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,799 That's where the donkey comes in. 326 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,199 So, what you need to do is dismantle 327 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,799 the boat and sell the wood. 328 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,559 Cha-ching! 329 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:26,719 Then you need to put the inflated animal bladders on the donkey 330 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,279 and walk home, 331 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,719 letting the donkey 332 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,199 do the donkey work. DONKEY BRAYS 333 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,479 That's right, my friends, 334 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,599 this boat is geni-ass. 335 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,800 DONKEY BRAYS Ow, ow! I hate that donkey! 336 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,320 Yeah! 337 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,559 Ever since there have been ships at sea, there have been pirates, 338 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:50,279 even as far back as Ancient Roman times. 339 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,759 A young Julius Caesar found that out long before 340 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,599 he became a famous Roman general, 341 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:59,639 when pirates captured him while he was studying in Greece. 342 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:00,800 GASPS 343 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:03,959 Captain, we have captured 344 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,199 a young nobleman. He's a Roman. 345 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,479 Perfect. 346 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:13,279 Tremble, Roman, for you have been captured by the Cilician Pirates. 347 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,159 Yeah, can we hurry this up? 348 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,999 Eh? Look, I'm Gaius Julius Caesar. 349 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,559 I've got a lot on and this is really starting to drag. 350 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,799 Tremble, Ro... But we did that bit! 351 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,999 Can we just get to the ransom demand? 352 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,839 Right, if your friends want to see you alive again... 353 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,079 Yeah, blah-blah-blah. 354 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,640 Yeah, how much? You serious? 355 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,959 20 talents of silver. 356 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,559 20! Yeah. 357 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,479 How dare you?! 358 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,199 Tie me up. Wrists. 359 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,679 I'm staying right here until you get a fee worthy of me. 360 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,399 I mean, honestly! Ankles. 361 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,119 I... I'm worth 50 talents, at least. 362 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,399 Fine, then. 50 talents, please. 363 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,599 Thank you! 364 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,079 20! Genuinely hurt by that. 365 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,039 OK, I'll get my men to arrange the payments. 366 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:00,319 Huh! Huh! Oi, men! 367 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,079 I've been captured by Ci... Cilisi... 368 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,679 Cilician. Cilician pirates! 369 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:09,959 I need you to go around the Aegean coastal cities and raise 50 talents. 370 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,479 And if they complain, kindly remind them 371 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,599 that if they were patrolling properly, 372 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:19,039 then we wouldn't be having so much trouble with these low lives! 373 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,599 No offence. 374 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,639 Huh! Hu-uh. 375 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,079 Down. 376 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:25,759 Steve, you don't have to. 377 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:27,199 Good boy. 378 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,839 What are you doing? Ah! 379 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,559 So, what have you guys got planned for entertainment? 380 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:32,679 Entertainment? 381 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,319 Well, sometimes we play ballgames or hold athletic tournaments. 382 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,039 We should be quiet. I don't want to play with him. 383 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,519 Sounds fun, I'm in. 384 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,119 Oh, and also I'm going to need a few of your men for an audience. 385 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,999 Audience? Yeah, I'll be writing some poetry whilst I'm here 386 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,519 and it'd be good to get some feedback. Feedback? 387 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,480 Well, my men don't really like poetry. 388 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,719 Great! I've been kidnapped by a bunch of oiks 389 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,279 who don't appreciate the arts. 390 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,799 Urgh! Fine, I'll just get some shut-eye. 391 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:57,919 Just keep it down, yeah? 392 00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:59,319 No, I will not keep it down! 393 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,279 I've got to keep it loud. I'm a pirate! 394 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,799 Shush! Oh, and by the way, 395 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,919 when I get free, I'm going to hunt you all down 396 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:09,399 and have you crucified - and not in a nice way. 397 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,719 Oh! I'd rather that 398 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,239 than listen to his poetry. 399 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,359 Oh-ho-ho-ho! The burn. 400 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:15,879 I can hear you, you know? 401 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:17,080 Sorry. 402 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,399 Almost home to Spain, 403 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,839 I can't wait to... SQUEALS 404 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,239 Arrgh! 405 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:24,959 THEY GASP 406 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:28,199 Boarded by pirates when we were almost home to Spain. 407 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,199 Pirates in this part of the Mediterranean? 408 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,839 You know what that could mean... 409 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,839 They are going to rob and torture us? 410 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,359 GASPS You don't think it means 411 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,359 we're being boarded by... BOTH: Sayyida al-Hurra! 412 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,279 Ya! 413 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,839 CHEERING 414 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,519 What a queen! 415 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,879 Yes, pirate queen. 416 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,559 What are you both so happy about? 417 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:49,839 We're going to get killed. 418 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:53,760 Quake in fear, for it is I, Queen Sayyida. 419 00:16:53,761 --> 00:16:57,359 Look, it's going to take ages to write the whole thing, 420 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,639 can we just all agree it says "Sayyida"? 421 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:00,959 Die, pirate queen! 422 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,199 Wah! 423 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,359 GASPS You're amazing. 424 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:05,959 Seriously? 425 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,919 You're fawning over a pirate queen. 426 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,719 Sayyida isn't just a pirate queen. 427 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,479 She's the Queen of Morocco. 428 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,959 Oh, yeah, the Sultan of Morocco put a ring on it. 429 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,479 Oh, would you sign my arm? 430 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:20,239 Oh, I'm assuming you're not planning to chop it off or anything. 431 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,199 I'm more into gold than terrorising people. 432 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,919 Unless you're Spanish. THEY TREMBLE 433 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:28,279 The reason I do all this is to get my revenge on the Spanish 434 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:31,359 for invading my home in Grenada and exiling me. 435 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:32,559 GASPS 436 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:33,639 Er, what name shall I put? 437 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,319 Carlos. 438 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,519 PIRATES SNARL 439 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,079 That's a Spanish name, innit? 440 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,799 Oh, erm, yes. A bit. 441 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,119 It's, er, short for Charles. 442 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,919 Hmm, OK. 443 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,879 "To Charles, from Sayyida." 444 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,759 There. Oh, thank you! 445 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,159 Oh, for a moment there, I thought you were about to kill me. 446 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,439 Oh... CHUCKLES 447 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,479 ..I am going to kill ya. 448 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:56,599 GASPS 449 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,719 But now they can use your arm to identify you 450 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:00,199 after I've cut your Spanish head off. 451 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,599 Well, I don't mind. 452 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,439 I've met Queen Sayyida, so I can die happy. 453 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,959 Do you, er, know these two? 454 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,119 No, no, no! 455 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,399 Where are my manners? 456 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,279 This is Fernando and Manuel. 457 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,879 Oh, goodie, more Spaniards. 458 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,399 Well, gracias for nothing! 459 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,119 Ah, killed by Queen Sayyida. 460 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,159 I can't wait to tell everyone back home. 461 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,360 Worst voyage ever! 462 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,839 John? 463 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,079 Yeah. 464 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,680 I was just, er, thinking about our future together. 465 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,839 Oh, no, here we go again. SIGHS 466 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,039 I think we should take our pirate relationship 467 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,399 to the next level. 468 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,799 I want to have a matelotage. 469 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:43,639 Pete, now is not a good time to talk about this. 470 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,119 Stinky Joe's listening. 471 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,479 Don't mind me! FARTING, SPLASHING 472 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,519 Oh! Sorry to interrupt, 473 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:49,919 but, er... Oh! 474 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,079 What's a matelotage? FARTING 475 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,039 Well, you know, it's when two pirates formally pair up 476 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,399 and share their belongings. 477 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,279 Oh, like getting married. FARTING, SPLASHING 478 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,999 Oh, cor, it's like I've eaten a load of gunpowder 479 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,359 and then stuck a lit match up me... 480 00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,839 It's nothing like getting married! FARTS 481 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,799 Anyway, I've drafted up this contract for us. 482 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,319 I'm going to read it aloud and if you agree, 483 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,319 you can just say, "I do." 484 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,239 It sounds a bit like wedding vows. FARTING, SPLASHING 485 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,879 Oh! I don't know what I'm going to do when the bucket's full. 486 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:17,959 Pete, stop. 487 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:22,559 Do you, John, take me, Pete, 488 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,399 to be your lawful buccaneer partner? 489 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,759 Sounds exactly like wedding vows. 490 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:30,599 We can seal a deal by, er, exchanging some of our treasure 491 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,039 as a sign of trust. 492 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,079 Oh, yeah. 493 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,279 A couple of rings, maybe. 494 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,720 Shut it, Stinky Joe! 495 00:19:35,721 --> 00:19:39,399 OK, coincidentally, yes, I was going to suggest a ring 496 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,679 that I stole when we plundered the Queen Mary. 497 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,599 You know, I thought right then 498 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,440 that you are the shipmate for me. 499 00:19:47,441 --> 00:19:50,119 I promised meself I wouldn't cry. 500 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:51,959 FARTING, SPLASHING Oh! 501 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,239 But that's going to bring tears to anyone's eyes! 502 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,079 Shush! It's not a wedding, 503 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,839 it's a matelotage. 504 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,679 Pete, I'm flattered, I really am, but I just can't commit... 505 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,959 And when I die, as is traditional with all matelotages, 506 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,359 you get to keep all my stuff. 507 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,039 Pete! You're not listening. 508 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,359 I can't have a matelotage with you! Why not? 509 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:12,640 Because I'm having a matelotage with someone else, all right? 510 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,239 FARTS 511 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,199 Well...this is awkward. 512 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,439 FARTS 513 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:21,959 Pete, please, say something. 514 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,159 GROANING, SPLASHING 515 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,559 FARTS 516 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:29,239 Frankly, I think that says it all. 517 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:30,520 Pete! 518 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:33,359 Hi, guys! 519 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,559 She's Anne Bonny, 520 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:35,639 I'm Mary Read, 521 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,799 and together, we put the "Grrrrrr!" 522 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,399 in girl-boss pirates. 523 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,880 Thanks for joining us for our step-by-step guide to... 524 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,559 Now, we all find our pirate crews in different ways. 525 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,279 I disguised myself as a man... 526 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,479 Oh, manly! 527 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,639 ..and joined a ship headed for the West Indies. 528 00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,960 When we got attacked by pirates, I thought... 529 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,919 And I joined the same crew as Mary. 530 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:04,970 We are... 531 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,640 Now, you can't be shy of a bit of fisty cuffs if you're a pirate. 532 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,679 Mary here likes to shoot people for being cowards. 533 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,559 Guilty. 534 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:25,240 Now, all of this can get you into a teensy bit of trouble. Argh! 535 00:21:28,551 --> 00:21:33,639 Admittedly, this is the one that we're not so good at. 536 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:34,679 Oh! 537 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,439 But definitely worth putting in the effort 538 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,439 because it could save your life. 539 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:39,559 Ooh! 540 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,239 When our pirate crew was captured 541 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,479 by the British Navy and sentenced to death, 542 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,400 Anne and I did something called... 543 00:21:46,101 --> 00:21:49,279 So we went up to the executioner, 544 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:53,599 and in our best, sweetest, most ladiest voices, we said... 545 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,319 And action! 546 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,839 "Please, mister, don't kill me, 547 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,199 "I'm just a sweet little lady 548 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,999 "with a pirate baby in her tum-tum". 549 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:08,360 "You wouldn't hurt a lovely little baby pirate lady, would you?" 550 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:10,879 And it worked! Ah! 551 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,119 No executions for us, we were in the clear. 552 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:16,079 Well, almost. 553 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,439 Right, ladies, the judge wants to see you again. 554 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,679 Pleading the belly only gets you off the hook 555 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,519 while you're actually pregnant. 556 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:27,439 Well, that's all we've got time for today, girl boss pirate fans. 557 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,159 Don't forget to smash a like. 558 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,679 And if you see us coming, 559 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,999 run for your lives! We're pirates! 560 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,759 Arrrrr! 561 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:38,279 For much of history, only men were encouraged to be sailors. 562 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,439 But that didn't mean women couldn't find their way onto ships, too, 563 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,119 and not just as pirates. 564 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,839 Even though you had to be a man to join the Royal Navy 565 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,039 in the 18th century, 566 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,879 one clever young woman found a way to break the rules 567 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,440 and get herself onboard. 568 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,959 Well, men, after many long years in the Royal Navy, 569 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,839 we're finally back in England. 570 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,359 I'm proud to call you my brothers. 571 00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:03,439 Peter. 572 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,959 Right back at you, man! Ha! 573 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,679 Michael. Brother in arms. 574 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,439 And old James. 575 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:14,079 Hey, brothers, men we all are. 576 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,279 Ha-ha! 577 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,159 Oh, do you know what? I'm going to have to come clean. 578 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,959 Speak your mind, my man. 579 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,239 Yeah, see, I'm not a man. 580 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:22,919 I'm a woman. My name is Hannah Snell, 581 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:26,759 and I only pretended to be a man so I could join the Royal Navy. 582 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,399 Oh! Oh. 583 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,879 But James... Hannah. 584 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,759 Did this happen when you came on land? 585 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:33,919 Is this like a mermaid thing where you become a man 586 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,239 when you go out to sea? 587 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,039 No, I've always been a woman. 588 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,479 Look, I only signed up to the Royal Navy so I could find my husband. 589 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,839 He was a Dutch sailor and he abandoned me after we got married. 590 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,239 And did you find him, James? 591 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,039 Hannah. Er, erm... 592 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:47,239 Yes. Aw. 593 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,439 He'd been executed. 594 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,719 Oh! Yes, that's less cute. 595 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,519 Why'd you bring that up? My bad. 596 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,079 I'll be honest with you, James... 597 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,279 Hannah. ..this is a lot to take in. 598 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,679 Seriously, none of you were suspicious about anything? 599 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,079 IMITATES EXPLOSION No. 600 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,039 Well, we've been sailing around together for years. 601 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,199 This has come completely out of the blue for me. 602 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,919 Michael, you used to call me Miss Molly! 603 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,959 Yeah, on account of your smooth ladylike cheeks 604 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,039 and the fact you never had to shave your beard! 605 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,679 What, and that didn't ring any bells? 606 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,800 Well, we just thought you were Norwegian. 607 00:24:14,801 --> 00:24:17,839 OK, what about that time I got shot? 608 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:19,439 Instead of using the regiment's surgeon, 609 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,119 I insisted on dealing with it myself? 610 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,199 Well, I just thought that was very manly. 611 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,519 Coolest thing I've ever seen. 612 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,439 No, it was because some of the wounds were near me lady bits 613 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,159 and I didn't want to get found out. Whoa! TMI. 614 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,279 Well, James... Hannah. 615 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,439 Whatever your name is, 616 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:36,399 we do so hope that you will join us on our next voyage. 617 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,279 Aye. That's very kind of you, 618 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:41,839 but there's absolutely no way the Royal Navy will let me stay on now. 619 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,839 Probably just head home, 620 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:45,999 write a book, maybe run a pub. 621 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:47,879 Pubs?! They're no place for ladies! 622 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,599 We're in one right now! 623 00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,679 Also, I can handle myself. 624 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,399 Remember, I was literally with you 625 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,639 in the middle of the fighting in India. 626 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,599 I got wounded in my legs 11 times. 627 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,279 Good times. Yes. 628 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,799 Well, Miss Molly, 629 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,839 it's been an absolute honour to serve with you. Yeah. 630 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,999 To James! To Jimmy! To James! 631 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,479 Oh, it's Hannah. 632 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:08,759 Now, who's Molly? 633 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,200 Because if I'm honest with you, I have not been following this at all. 634 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,439 Well, shipmates, our voyage is over 635 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,959 and we're coming back safely into port. 636 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,679 Nothing can go wrong... EXPLOSION 637 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,159 GASPS Ah! 638 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,159 My boat's sprung a leak! 639 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:27,759 I'm sinking! 640 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,719 And I was so close to home! 641 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:33,479 Still, it's not the first time a ship went down close to home. 642 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:37,479 Henry I's White Ship went down with his son and heir onboard 643 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,599 as it was leaving port. 644 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,359 Henry VIII's Mary Rose sank just outside Southampton. 645 00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:47,439 And Swedish King Gustavus Adolphus's super ship, the Vasa, 646 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,839 sailed less than a mile before it sank. 647 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,839 Ah! Rats can swim, right? 648 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,679 I guess I'm about to find out. Ahh, ahh! 649 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,999 Oh, my goodness! 650 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,439 Look at that boat, it's sinking. 651 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,199 But isn't that boat the White Ship? 652 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:06,279 King Henry's son William Adelin is onboard that boat. Yeah. 653 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,479 but they make us cry 654 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,159 655 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,519 with the heir to the crown 656 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,919 and a leak got sprung 657 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,079 when they sailed home from France 658 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,039 659 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,919 660 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,719 My heir got sunk 661 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,599 Now there's gonna be war 662 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,719 Yeah! 663 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:28,759 Yeah! 664 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,260 665 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,319 when I fight in France 666 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:37,279 took too much of a chance 667 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,439 When she turned in the wind 668 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,799 And she got sunk 669 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,679 670 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,199 671 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:46,919 672 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,759 673 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,639 674 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,079 they achieved nada 675 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,519 Yeah! 676 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:56,599 Yeah! 677 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,519 Yeah! 678 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:02,279 Yo-yo! MC King Gustavus Adolphus on the decks. 679 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,599 Well, on the deck. 680 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,159 to put Sweden on the map 681 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,999 and the crowd began to clap 682 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,199 683 00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,239 684 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,719 And she got sunk 685 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,559 686 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:16,959 687 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,399 688 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,439 689 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,159 690 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,119 691 00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,039 As the world stood and watched 692 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,639 693 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:29,039 Yeah! 694 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,399 Yeah! 695 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:32,839 Fancy pretending it didn't happen? 696 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:33,919 No no. 697 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,080 Worth a try. 698 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,799 699 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,079 700 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,919 701 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,679 702 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,479 703 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,399 704 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,160 705 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,879 I am Loo Man, the living lavatory. 706 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,919 Or as you might say in Germany, the cape... 707 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,279 Ha-Ha! 708 00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,599 I've turned into a muppet, that's what happened. 709 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,039 Urdy-hurdy. 710 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,479 711 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:05,879 712 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:09,520 713 00:28:09,570 --> 00:28:14,120 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0